Katalyst

The purposelessness is challenging. The city feels like a goldfish bowl, full of distractions that enslave rather than serve. In the words of David Byrne of Talking Heads: "How did we get here?" Isolation within the city is magnified. I recognise that. Visiting the libraries removes my loneliness. Why? Well, the people I am sharing the space with are making an effort in some shape or form to expand themselves, be it reading a book, working on a college paper, or even watching a YouTube video. A...

That voice in my head that tells me I should be doing something to progress needs to pipe down. It's taking time and wrestling with an old identity. Purposelessness in the Western world is frowned upon. In Eastern cultures, it holds nobility. How can I just let it be? I have all the time in the world. Even if I don't, the time I have must focus on the nourishment of my soul. The erosion the modern system meets me with does not define me. Peace or attainment? Pick a lane. ...

Burnout managed by leaving the job. Gut issues appear. They have a look, it's a hiatal hernia that eased off as soon as it was confirmed. A little time feeling normal, and then the stress headaches return. Clearly, I have worn myself out, not just through an erosive career but through time. It's important to recognise: I age. The doctor got in touch. Yes, they proactively called me for a review, somewhat unheard of here in the UK. I have seen the same GP for nine months. Like me, she understand...

I woke with aches. I blame my lack of water; my body does not tell me I am thirsty until it craves tea. It's been 10 days of head and neck aches. Health anxiety comes to the surface. The past four years have presented me with a few challenges. As I age, it's whack‑a‑mole. Before all this descended upon me, I facilitated a somatic taster session for a social prescribing group. An open group of people realising they are not the people that the world told them they were. I guided a meditation, gi...

"I just don't want to do anything but I am compelled to perform productivity. When a fire burns out, it's no longer a fire, it becomes ground. Every inch of this earth was once a flame. Scorched earth needs time to bring forth its bounty.” The ink fell from the pen onto the page as the statement appeared. Outside, grey clouds filled the morning sky. I sat within a sense of purposelessness as I cradled my journal. It had become a daily tome of who I am before the day pushes me to be someone el...

Morning journal to daily presence. My alarm goes off. Like every person in the modern Western world, it gets snoozed for that standard nine minutes,that time that's supposed to make us feel better, but we know it doesn't. My eyes open blearily. My middle-aged body aches. My head is foggy. The day is before me. With a sigh, my foot lands on the carpet. I open the blind to witness the morning. Okay, let's get a cup of tea. The kettle boils while I make my bed and adjust my bedside table for the ...

Take a moment. Make a fist. Feel the immediate, subtle surge of energy required to clench your hand. How much tension is focused in that grip? Now, slowly, open the hand. What difference do you instantly feel? That immediate release,that is freedom. The mechanical function of a fist is to hold, to grab, to grip. Yet, how long can you sustain that tension? Hold it longer, and you’ll feel the strain creep up your forearm, tightening the muscles of your entire upper body. It takes tremendous, per...

I walked 11 miles today. Spent some time with the Sabbath listening to religious men talk about religious topics. I went to some woodland. I found memories of a campsite where I spent time with friends and time with lovers. The sense of solitude is like a curtain veiled over me. I come home and numbed myself to the video library of YouTube, providing me fresh recommendations since I wiped its memory the other day. But all it offers me is hypothetical solutions or artifacts of the dysfunction tha...

Are we the Veterans of a War We Never Signed Up For? There was a time when trauma had a border. Think of the men who stormed the beaches of Normandy or fought in the jungles of Vietnam. They witnessed unimaginable horror, but they did so within the confines of a conflict. When they came home, they left the battlefield behind. They were embraced by communities, cared for by families, and given the space, however challenging, to heal in a world that was, for the most part, peaceful. The violence...

Fifteen years ago, I stood in front of a crowd and opened my talk with a simple statement: "My job should not exist." I was two years into my career as a welfare benefits adviser, young enough to still believe systems could be fixed, naive enough to think I was helping people. Today, with forty-three active cases spread across two monitors, I understand something I couldn't see then: the maze isn't broken,it's working exactly as designed. My job shouldn't exist, but not for the reasons I thought...

Here I stand on Weymouth beach, coffee in hand, listening to waves crash against the shore. Thirty minutes remain before I board the train back to Bristol, back to reality. The weekend has gifted me with coastlines, cliffs, harbours, and boats—but most importantly, it has offered me time just to be with myself. After walking roughly 28 miles over two days, my body carries a pleasant fatigue while my mind feels unusually clear. Escaping the Familiar During lockdown, I explored Bristol in ever-w...

In my previous exploration of mobile phone usage, I discussed implementing app governors like "Lock Me Out" to restrict access to certain applications. While these technical solutions offered temporary relief from constant digital engagement, they ultimately revealed a deeper truth about our relationship with technology: control mechanisms alone cannot address the underlying pull of constant connectivity. Reflecting back over a decade to my time as an aikido instructor has offered unexpected in...

Imagine standing at the edge of an island, gazing across an eighty-mile expanse where a bridge stretches toward the horizon. The morning mist parts just enough to reveal the first few miles of your path - smooth in some places, weathered in others, supported by piers of varying heights and strengths. Each mile marks a year of your life, each pier a moment that changed everything. Above, a delicate network of cables catches the morning light, their purpose not yet clear. You can't see the other s...

You know, I've been thinking a lot lately about how we connect with each other. It's funny – we're more "connected" than ever through our phones and social media, but sometimes it feels like we're struggling to really hear each other. The other day, I was having coffee with a friend, and I caught myself doing that thing where I was just waiting for my turn to talk instead of really listening. It hit me: how often do we actually have genuine conversations anymore? I think part of the problem is...

Remove the unnecessary. Contribute to personal and social inclusion. Act with intention on the necessary. Keep one hand spare to help others. Speak my soul forward Find the person inside that wants to change. Call people by their name. Ask for it and remember it. Replace stagnancy with stillness. Move to a place where I am seen. ...

1.Free your heart. 2.Free your mind from troubles. 3.Live simply. 4.Expect less. 5.Give more. 6.Find Alignment. Breathe, Move, Live. ...

It evokes fear in some and welcomes others. The presence of white space in personal time and environment brings a sense of loss. Nothing seems familiar anymore. What can I do here, now? Stay silent Breathe Stretch Recognize lessons from what is removed Re-orient internally Value the pathless land Use the new expanse to cradle the unknown The world will happen anyway, use this time to refine, create new lenses to view the horizons of opportunity. ...

Human qualities I seek in someone to love. Confident in their health. Eats healthy and can cook. Adventurous. Athletic Able to process fear. Able to experience and accept love. Compassionate. Comfortable in own space. Reciprocal in giving. Good with money. Social with friends. Shares connections. A deep thinker. Tactile. Step one. I become this person. ...

Blissing out to chill step in my headphones while enjoying a peaceful walk of the city, I felt attuned. Roads being quieter, more people are out walking or cycling, shooting their breeze with the universe. I walked toward a zebra crossing; two young brothers, age about 10 and 7, were cycling toward me. The eldest of the two got onto the zebra crossing, and cars stopped; he then waited, waited for his little brother, who didn't have the same stamina as him. The traffic had to be patient as they ...

Hunch and sedated posture mirrors the soul. "Stand tall, up straight!" A command that rings of rigidity. In youth, I stooped as I was taller than most. In adulthood, desk work and screens rounds the shoulders. Forcing the self "up" takes mechanical effort, something that will be evaded when the day brings its weight. Over time Martial, somatic, and Alexander technique practice filters into the consciousness permitting creative insight and philosophical metaphor. Alexander technique focuses o...

Every new page will honor the last. Every word ascribed provides lessons from the past. Lower the pen from the page Place the book mark The cover folds closed As we step into the daylight before us. They fly overhead in purposeful directionlessness. Seeking the thermal on the wind. Connection with the flock. Never lost, always found. Flight opens the soul. Seek the liminality of the mind. Endless Timeless Here Now. Unhook identity From experience Its a process Let go Of the person Who g...

Strength in Solitude comes when loneliness is observed, articulated and expressed. Authentic observation arrives when its time. Truth is in the eye of the beholder. I stand straight They walk by In distraction ¹ I turn and smile They gaze down In fear² I ask a question They answer In platitudes³ I listen They talk To someone else⁴ I sit alone They gather In identity⁵ I find peace They fight For nothing.⁶ 1.Spacial awareness is reducing in the city population. 2.Observe how eye contact...

The forest wall towered on both sides of the car. Sunlight rhythmical hitting the windshield I knew soon the Corona Forestal would be not only behind me but below. This ascent always fills my heart with excitement. Cloud descended, switching on the fog lights I eased off the accelerator, the road rumbled under me. Senses tingled, bends and switchbacks became part of my being. Rather than being scared of the thickening cloud, it held me steady with its ability to raise my awareness. With no safe...

Use pen and paper, mobile phone note pad, video or audio recording. List the most difficult and traumatic things in your life, going backwards from now. Now acknowledge that; You can articulate pain. All those things did not destroy you. They are events, not your identity. None of them is happening at this moment. Now realise that; The struggle provided experience. Experience provided an understanding. The understanding provided forgiveness. Forgiveness allows you to let go. Resilience arr...

Understanding the cartography of the heart leads to the authentic self. Many pathways lead to the one. Smell the ink on the paper The day reaches out To meet The blank page fills With morning soul Pouring Outward Stillness abounds It is here Sat in solitude Separate Time becomes a companion It sits here and now Allowing presence To envelop life In endless motion. Slow movement arrives Hips and spine flex Life stagnancy stirs No strain Just inward ripples Physicality connected The mind...

Breathe (with ease) move (with efficiency) live ( with compassion). Our intention is to make a difference. Patience is our test, our isolation is our gift. Minimize plans and expectations. Use what is here now to connect with the world. One moment, one breath, one step at a time. ...

In separating Identity from purpose, listening to self is primary. Demands of self come with increasing frequency. Strive no more, advancement is an ever distance horizon. Observe the embankment, mountains, trees and sky their light arrives to you with effortless vastness, a reflection of a watcher who sit peaceful. I sat with you today, You ask me for nothing. Instead your heart spoke. It is only that which reveals Exposing the soul I am here to meet you. The expanse of now is eternal Your...

She brought me to this place. Handheld tight with eyes of light. Safety lived here in her arms. On the coldest nights, warmth always present. We spoke of life And listened to love. Magnified contributions took time. Unfolding and changing but always with me Here in this place Her soul is held ...

Wake up Walk around the house Eat a meal Go to the toilet Walk down the street Drive a car Focus on work Focus on play Connect with others Connect with the self Go to sleep Some or all of these identify a dopamine addiction through validation. Without a smartphone, gaps in time are discovered. The question is “What can I fill it with?” Time to “Recharge” the self for a change. ...

At times I feel a bit uncertain about everything, and left to its own devices, this uncertainty exaggerates inner fears and needs. When scared, I feel the need to run, escape and in general, isolate myself from the world. This fear paralysis needs acceptance before the “now” can be seen. When feeling fear, I crave a different past for an alternate future. This craving is a mere illusion, and no evidence exists that my past is creating a future. The only evidence of what I am is here in the now....